What Happens When Parents Look at Their Phones Instead of Their Children
I loved building blocks with my son Nathan, and he loved knocking the tower over. He is almost 20 now, and I still treasure those moments.
Imagine this. You are sitting on the floor with your toddler, stacking blocks or building a massive Magna-Tiles cabin. You hear that ping and glance at your phone "just for a second." Five minutes pass. Your child is looking at you, waiting.
Mom and Dad, you are not alone. Every single one of us has been there.
Researchers have actually begun studying this habit. It is called parental phubbing or technoference and it happens when screens interrupt real-life connection. The numbers are sobering.
76% of parents report using their phones while at the playground with their child (Mackay et al., 2022).
Parents spend an average of four hours per day on their phones, checking notifications around 67 times a day (Lippold et al., 2022). And that study is from 2022. It's 2026 now. Those numbers are likely even higher today.
A meta-analysis of 42 studies and more than 56,000 children found something else shocking. Children whose parents frequently check their phones during interactions showed higher rates of emotional struggles, behavioral challenges, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Read the full study here
And it's not just parents. Research also shows that 54% of teens feel they spend too much time on their own smartphones (Jiang, 2018, as cited in Lippold et al., 2022). The habits we model at home start early. (Lippold et al., 2022)
These numbers are a wake-up call for all of us.
You are a human being doing your absolute best in a world literally designed to pull your attention away. Give yourself grace.
You don't need to be a perfect parent. You just need to be a present one.
Even fifteen minutes of undivided attention can fill a child's cup in ways that hours of passive togetherness simply cannot.
Children want to play not only with you, but like you. Read that again. That one is worth sitting with.
Children learn through play and imitation. Babies mimic faces and sounds. Toddlers copy your every move. Young children model what they see every single day. Your child is watching you. Always.
And honestly? That is not a pressure. That is a gift.
You are not just raising a child. You are shaping a human being who will go out into this world and make it better because of you. Because of your love, your laughter, your presence.
That is exactly why our classes at The Perch are designed for parents, grandparents, and children to play, move, and experience life together. All you have to do is unplug, tuck your phone away, and show up. We handle the rest.
Every small, intentional moment you choose to be present is a gift your child will carry forever. You are doing better than you know. You are exactly the parent your child needs.
You've got this.
— Michelle
